Thoughts on Eating at Odd Times

When you focus on eating when you’re hungry (at least most of the time), you may find that you want to eat at odd times. But even as I write that, I wonder what it means.

Why does it feel strange to eat at certain times? Who decides what “mealtime” is?

I started thinking about this because a couple of weeks ago, I had a day when I got hungry at times that were unusual for me, and I realized I might feel odd about eating when – and as much – as I did if I didn’t live alone and work from home. And it reminded me of the many unspoken norms about food.

Eating at mealtimes

One of the biggest norms is mealtimes. If you work a standard job, say 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., then you’re roughly expected to:

• Eat breakfast before work (if you eat breakfast), maybe around 6:30 or 7

• Have lunch around midday

• Eat dinner when you get home, maybe between 6 and 7

Some people also have specific times when they’re allowed to have lunch, or when they can take a break to maybe have a snack. Other people might have so many back-to-back meetings that they don’t even get a break to eat.

I think about this when I try to schedule lunch visits with a friend. It often takes several tries to find a day when we’re both free around the expected lunchtime, given our various meetings.

But when we do have lunch, I have to adjust my own schedule. I’m very much spoiled by working from home and having a flexible schedule, which means that I often can eat based on when I’m hungry.

Since I get up very early, and therefore eat breakfast early (around 5:30), I’m often hungry again well before noon. Most of the time, I eat lunch early, but if I’m meeting someone for lunch, I have to tweak things by having a snack beforehand. It’s fine, but it is something I have to consider.

As a result of my generally early schedule, I also eat dinner on the early side, around 5 p.m. I sometimes feel a bit odd about that, almost like it’s “kid’s” mealtime and not an adult mealtime – even though I recognize that mealtimes are simply constructs based on our society.

Feeling the need to hide or explain eating

The other interesting thing I’ve noticed is that when people eat at more “unusual” times (whatever that means), or eat differently from how others expect, they feel the need to explain themselves.

I’ve been watching the show Shrinking, and I thought it was interesting how, when one character had a health scare, he told his wife that she might find his snacks hidden all around the house, and he asked her not to judge him. And I couldn’t help thinking, why does a man in his late 60s feel like he needs to explain and try to justify what he eats?

And then a couple of months ago, I saw someone from my church around 9 a.m. at Market Basket, and he was getting a breakfast sandwich. I didn’t say anything about the sandwich, but somehow, he felt like he needed to explain that he gets up early and has an early breakfast, so by 9 a.m. or so, he’s hungry again. I could relate, but I can’t help wondering if I looked somehow like I was judging him, or why else he felt the need to explain.

I don’t really have answers to these questions, but I just find it interesting that food is complicated in many of our lives. When babies and even kids indicate that they’re hungry and want something to eat, the adults generally let them have something to eat. Why do we make it more difficult for ourselves when we grow up?

Judgment-free zone

All of this reminds me that one of the ways we can be kind to one another is to not judge one another about eating choices. That includes not only what someone is eating, but when they’re eating, how much they’re eating, and anything else about it.

Maybe if we could do this more often, people wouldn’t feel like they needed to explain their eating to anyone else, and we could all be a little more relaxed about our various eating habits.